


Hate To See Your Heart Break

by matosuwa



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Mild Language, Song Lyrics, ugh ugh ugh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matosuwa/pseuds/matosuwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aiichirou wants to break up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate To See Your Heart Break

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic for Hate To See Your Heart Break by Paramore! It reminds me of a rintori break up okay but sshhh this will never ever happen they are a forever couple

“I just can’t do this anymore…” Ai whispered, eyes growing dark. “I can’t keep letting you hurt me.”

 

Rin leaned towards him, red eyes watery and filled with growing desperation. “But I love you. You know that I love you.”

 

Aiichirou shook his head, “It doesn’t seem like you do. Why do you keep me around? So you can use me to make you feel safe? To make you feel happy?”

 

“No, of course n-“

 

“Let me finish!” Ai’s voice broke, and he looked up. Tears pooled in the rims of his eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. “What am I to you, anyways? A punching bag? Some sort of doll for your emotional gratification?” He sneered, voice low and scratchy. It struck a deep fear inside Rin, shook electrical tremors down his spine.

 

* * *

 

 

It was late. Rin hadn’t expected this.

 

He’d walked into their dorm on a Saturday night a little after midnight, to find Ai curled up on the top bunk. He’d climbed the ladder tentatively. He could see heaving breaths that Ai was drawing in, and hear the light sobbing muffled by the pillows. He hadn’t expected this at all.

 

“Uh… Ai?” Rin asked, placing his fingertips gently on Aiichirou’s shoulder. Ai sat up, wiping at his eyes, facing the wall.

 

“I’m sorry,” Aiichirou whispered. He pushed past Rin and began to climb down the ladder. Rin sat back and watched as his boyfriend made his way over to the desk, planting his hands on the flat surface and hanging his head.

 

Rin jumped down and stood behind him, heart racing. _What the hell happened?_

 

“It’s okay…?” Rin asked, voice bordering question.

 

“No. Rin… I’m sorry. But we need to stop this.” Aiichirou blurted out, voice quiet.

 

Rin’s eyes snapped open, mouth agape. “W-what?” He asked, reaching for Ai’s shoulder. “Why?”

 

Ai’s shoulder quivered under Rin’s hand. “I can’t keep pretending that I’m happy. That you’re happy.”

 

Rin’s stomach dropped. “Ai… I am happy. Whatever I did… I’ll make it up to you! We can fix this!”

 

Ai’s cloudy azure eyes turned to glance at him. “You can’t. I’m already broken.”

 

* * *

 

“Ai, no. You don’t understand at all!” Rin shouted. He reached out and grabbed the front of Ai’s shirt, and he watched as the younger boy visibly flinched. His fingers loosened around the front of Aiichirou’s shirt.

 

The tears that had been waiting in Ai’s blue eyes finally surged forwards like a tidal wave. He covered his face in his hands. “I shouldn’t be so afraid of you! How can I love someone who I’m afraid of?”

 

Rin let go of the bunched fabric, holding his breath. “You think I’d actually hit you?”

 

“I don’t know!” Ai sobbed, hiccupping. “It wouldn’t hurt any less!”

 

“What did I do wrong?” Rin shouted, “What did I ever do?”

 

Aiichirou pulled his hands away from his face, skin red and splotchy and stained with tears. “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. You don’t think I care about little things, but I do.”

 

“What little things?!” Rin demanded, “Fucking tell me what I did!”

 

“You don’t bother to care about me!” Ai yelled back, “You’re only concern is yourself! You just manipulate me!”

 

“I don’t mean to!” Rin stammered, “I wish you would fucking tell me about stuff like this!”

 

Ai closed his eyes, tears still streaming down his angular face. “This isn’t what I’d dreamt of. This isn’t what I thought you’d be like.”

 

Rin’s eyes narrowed, “Sorry for disappointing you,” He growled.

 

“Is that how you’re apologizing?” Aiichirou asked in a weary, uneven tone.

 

“You want me to apologize for being myself? For loving you in the only way I know how?” Rin asked, voice dripping with distain.

 

Ai looked away, “I don’t think you ever loved me completely. I was some sort of pastime to you, wasn’t I?”

 

Rin reached for him again, blood running hot and furious. He grabbed onto his shoulders, dropping his head as tears spilled down his face. “Fuck you for thinking that I never loved you! I still love you! You just hate yourself so much that you refuse to believe it, huh?!”

 

Ai tried to push him away, his arms tired and giving out after a few attempts. “You made me this way! I was always so afraid that you’d go back to loving him- loving Haruka more than me! It’s not my fault that I’m so self conscious!”

 

Rin pushed away from him, stumbling back. Ai leaned against the wall, chest rising and falling, eyes dim and overflowing.

 

“I messed this up for myself, I guess.” Ai admitted, “I think too much. And you deserve someone who won’t-“

 

“You’re the only person I want!” Rin exclaimed, “Why can’t you fucking see that? I know I’m shit with emotions and I know I don’t tell you how much I love you, but I do! I love you so damn much, Ai!”

 

Aiichirou pressed his lips together, and turned his head away, “I just can’t love you anymore. It’s too hard.”

 

Rin watched silently with a growing pit forming in his stomach. Ai climbed the ladder once more, and collapsed onto the top bunk. “I’ll ask to change rooms in the morning,” He whispered.

 

Rin could see Ai’s face through the slats of his bunk. His eyes looked so lifeless and defeated. Rin’s words choked in his throat, feeling helpless as Ai’s eyes shut finally.

 

Rin sat down on his own bed, feeling cold and betrayed by himself. He’d done this, he’d turned Ai against him…

 

“Can’t I have another chance? To prove myself wrong?” Rin asked aloud, feeling his words hang in the thick silence.

 

Ai didn’t respond, and he felt suffocated. “You were the only person I knew how to love,”

 

* * *

 

 _There is not a single word in the whole world_ __  
That could describe the hurt  
The dullest knife just sawing back and forth  
And ripping through the softest skin there ever was  
  
How were you to know?  
Oh, how were you to know?  
  
And I, I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close  
But I've been there before


End file.
